he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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