i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
