But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I cockslap morals
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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