I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize