Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What a fucking waste of an outfit
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
