I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
