piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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