There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's the barista slut.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
