my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
