doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
