I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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