you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
