So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
