she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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