already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
