we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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