so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
