the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just found puke in my bra..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
