Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
