Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You smell like stripper and shame
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
