if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize