why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize