Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am naked and annoyed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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