guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
