I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
