Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
