i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
