It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
