How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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