We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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