Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
