...so i touched it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
