Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
