and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Randomize
