I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
