You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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