Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
