her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
