i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
