I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
