last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The power of my boobs compel you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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