I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
