don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
