Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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