I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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