you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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