I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
