is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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