So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
