I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
