This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i drank out of a bidet.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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