why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Actions speak louder than pants.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
