At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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