I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
