This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
