If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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