She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
