So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
