In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
